Give.Live.Love

Dreams do come true, when you believe...
when you want something with all your heart, the whole universe conspires in helping you achieving your dream :)

unbelievable!!!! I will do it, all through in august there was no hope for it.. and yet.. with the help of some incredible people around me (close or not really :P) I will fly in 2 weeks for meeting again some special people, some people that made my time in Rostock full of memories :) of nice evenings and crazy parties... of laughs and friendship...

I miss the Rostock gang :)

and after more then 2 months spend home.. (better said, in Iasi :)) ), I'm preparing myself for the next adventure... almost 2 weeks in one of the most beautiful cities of Europe, Madrid :D
meeting old friends... spending time in peace and happiness, with myself.. sharing moments and adventures... enjoying a walk and the sunset

PS: "Your acts are like mirrors, everything you do will return to you"

superb...

”…am iubit si eu.Am iubit ,poate,chiar mai intens si mai dureros decat altii.Pentru ca nu am putut merge pana la capatul sentimentelor mele.Am iubit ca prizonier , fara sansa de a putea evada din limitele mele.Sau din egoismul meu, daca asta va suna mai bine, desi mai curand as vorbi de un blestem. Deoarece in doi-cu rare exceptii-am fost singur.” (Octavian Paler)

...

I guess love is not enough...

You Learn- Jorge Luis Borges

After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
You learn that love doesn’t mean sex, and that a company doesn’t mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses are not contracts and presents are not promises. You begin to accept your defeats with head high and with eyes open.

And you learn to build all your roads of today, because tomorrow´s ground is to uncertain for plans, and futures have a way of falling down in pieces. After a while your learn that even sunshine burns if you get to much.

You plant your own garden and you decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for some one to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and that you really have a worth, and you learn and learn.

With time you learn that to be with some one who offers you a good future, means that sooner or later you will want to go back to your past. With time you understand that only who is able to love you with your defects and without trying to change you, will be able to give you all the happiness you wish.

With time you find out that if you are at the side of that person just so as to accompany your loneliness, irremediably you will finish hoping not to see him/her again. With time you understand that true friends are counted, and who doesn't fight for them sooner or later will see himself surrounded by false friends.

With time also you learn that words said in a moment of anger will continue hurting the one you hurt during all his/her life. With time you learn that to say I´m sorry anybody does it, but to forgive is only done by great souls.

With time you figure out that although you are happy with your friends, someday you will cry for those ones you let go. With time you figure out that every experience you have lived is unique.

With time you figure out that the person who humiliates and despises to a human being, sooner or later he/she will suffer the same humiliations or scorns multiplied by two. With time you figure out that to hurry or to force things to happen, will cause that at the end they were not as you expected.

With time you figure out that in reality the future was not the best, if not the instant moment you were living. With time you will see that although you are happy with the ones you have at your side, you will miss the ones that yesterday were with you, but they have gone.

With time you will learn that try to forgive or to ask for forgiveness, say that you love, say that you miss, say that you need, say that you want to be a friend, in front of a tomb, has no sense.

But unfortunately, only with time...

Thank you for making my last week different… I am lucky I had you, you are lucky you have someone who sees only the good parts in you… :)

You will always have a special place in my heart.

Home… no, not yet.. Home is where your heart is...
I am in Romania already but… I can’t call it home, not yet..

5 months… laughing, spending a lot of time with lovely people, crying also… :)

First time cooking alone/ for someone :)
First time eating… “Muffins” [there’s a reason why not everybody remembers this :D:D]
First time taking a bath in the Baltic sea
First time preparing/ eating sushi
First time eating Chinese food with sticks
First time riding the bike (sometimes more than 14 km without stop)
First time staying for more than 24 hours without LIGHT!!!!

All my bags are packed; I’m ready to go…

And here it comes.. the last month…

Oh my God.. next week is 1st of August… :)
How many feelings.. how many moments of laughing until I couldn’t breath anymore…how many lunches in Mensa.. together, the whole Earth at the same loooong table…
It’s incredible... how fast.. and yet how slow did the time passed… emotions…people.. faces… people that were there when I had trouble… people who didn’t disappointed me… that gave me reasons to wake up smiling and with more trust in me…
When you’re close to tears, remember… someday it will all be over… one day we’re gonna get… so high… :) (Lighthouse Family).
Last weekends were the best moments here… the first and last time I was in Moellner str (the beginning of the craziness :P), waiting for the S-bahn in Lutten Klein until 2am, singing (“I’ve got it from my mama”… we have a video too :D), goodbye party for Sean, Seth, Kyle and Austin in Max Planck.. (the girls on the blanket are heaving their one karaoke show…), goodbye party for Em, D, Ulises and Jelena… (long, long time ago… bye bye miss American Pie… )… taking everybody to the train station …

After Jelena left, on Saturday… I thought I will resist getting home… but… I couldn’t … how much can someone cry? Sunday in the evening I was still trying to stop… :| anyway… the reasons were many… too many… too different. And this time it will be for ever… (never say never, never say forever…). Well… if it is meant to be it will be, if not… I’m not going to cry anymore.. or let my feelings get over my mind… I found my path here… I will not forget that anymore... no matter how close and possible things will seem…
"The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple"...Oscar Wilde
I’m tired of my heart cheating on me… again :) it gave me too many reasons to smile… to feel so close to you... and yet so far…
“Why don’t you just do it?” I don’t know... I don’t wanna suffer… I’m scared of being hurt…
Too late… I already did it in my mind.. in my imagination… too many times… :)


PS: Wtf, every time the internet connection drops, I remember I have a blog :))

a perfect goal in the last minute... life tastes... like chocolate :P

Today... live the moment now.. not tomorrow, not yesterday…
Although I didn’t felt like learning, it was one of the best days here...
But… in the end the race is only with yourself..

So many many things happen… :) but also there was a lot of time available..
The trip to Rugen.. (ohh, how many memories… incredible.. ); afternoons in Ulmenstrasse, studying; Mia’s birthday in Warnemunde, staying on the beach till 2 in the morning and then waiting the bus for 40 min :d; the trip to Hamburg with the University, visiting a company; the most looong day in the year…on the beach (sunrise at 4.38 and sunset at 21.48… but during the night is not completely dark… :P); the “white nights”, with some light in the horizon, spending the night till 4 o’clock in the morning reading or.. just watching a movie; friday evening unexpected bike tours and... the perfect sunsets :)...; watching the football games and cheering for one team or another :P; the cooking sessions.. and lunches like home… :P too many times apparently, cause I’m starting to enjoy spending time in the kitchen… :d; the nice loooong talks in Mensa… :)

New friends, plans, and … I’m not being pessimistic, but realistic… I’ve been through this before.. and I suffered… too much… that’s why I don’t want to make plans.. not that type of plans.. I would rather let myself pleasantly surprised…

The price for dreaming is called disappointment… and it’s nice to dream even with the eyes open.. but… sometimes it’s not enough… and it’s not ok when somebody else takes the decision in your place… or takes a decision that it affects you directly without asking you…
I would like that June and July would never end.. although I will have all my exams .. but it’s nice.. and… being happy doesn’t mean having everything, but sharing the little you have with others :)

I’m again in the phase in which I don’t want to go home.. and yes, there are some parts I miss, but… I know I will have those things, sooner or later back… unfortunately, what is happening here… is not coming back… no way.. no other way… so… this is life…
You have to take the ride with no regrets, so in the end, the ones that are standing by your side to regret you…

Just melancholic at 2 am… because my internet connection is not working.. again… :|

PS: I received some requests from pictures on my webpage... I don’t know how to do that.. so… the pictures are separately… www.picasaweb.google.com/andreea.gheorghiu

PS2: After 30 min I realized.. I started writing this.. because of something I found out today.. and of course I forgot to write about it.. one of the LEI (Lokale Erasmus Initiative) members told us today that.. they started planning the orientation week from October… for the “newies”… they are already doing this.. so.. this means, more or less, that.. we will soon be gone from here.. :( … life is shitty… sometimes.. when things are becoming perfect, they simply end.. and..
Just like in Poland... the only way of saying properly goodbye is remembering the first Hello… :)

2 weeks, so many things happen…

First of all, the weather is great… and I’m going to the seaside one time per day, at least: P
It’s incredible how much I feel I’m alive…
And I will never ever regret it… :)

Last week I felt I need a break, I need to run from this place, from the persons here, from… someone…so I decide to go visit my aunt in south… near Nurenberg… 10 hours, 2 trains and a car… tired but happy… and although I left Rostock for 5 days, with my aunt I stayed only 3 (the rest was the road… :P)
It was great, I had a lot of time only with me, I had a model in front of my eyes, and… this way, the chance to decide either this is what I want, what I need for being happy, a family, if this will make me feel complete… and…content…
But… I realized that this type of life it’s not for me... and this life will not mean for me fulfillment… or at least this is what I feel now…
I want to travel more, I want to get to know more people..
Rostock is very very nice, incredible quiet… and silent, but also with parties and people that will help you in any circumstances…:)
(Btw, I was surprised to see how close and dedicated are germans…)
I was 8 years old when I said I want to see and live at least for a few months in Germany. At that time, it was not a big goal, it was huge… HUGE… and now I’m living my dream… each day, each second…
The 3 days spend far from here, from all the people around me, helped me decide what’s gonna be next… if I will choose the family or career. And I choose… I have a plan; I know which are my next steps… what’s going to happen with me…


Saturday, on the 10th of May, I did the most unexpected thing I could do… I went together with aprox 20 other people in a bike tour, for 30 km… (2*15 km). We took the S-Bahn from Rostock to Warnemunde, to the beach, and then, through the woods and grass, we went to another beach, near a small village, where we had grill, and the sand was so clean and nice, and pure… that actually was making a very nice noise when you were walking on it… :P
And after that, we returned in Warnemunde, where the others, the ones that didn’t want to join us for the bike tour, were having also a grill. We stayed until 10pm on the beach, watch the sunset… and then I had some plans for a club… but :P I gave up, not because I was tired, or my muscles were hurting, but because I wasn’t dressed up properly for the bike tour, and now, 2 days after the ride, I still feel my shoulder is BURNING!!!.
Yep, I did it… but now the color of my skin is beginning to change from red to brown… :P

I know that my colleagues have the last 2 weeks of exams… I will miss the graduation party and also the times spend with them, but…
What I’m living here is… 1000 times better and challenging, and powerful and :) I wish I could stay here forever… I wish I could be young forever…
Trämen ist kostenlos, also... :))

Thank you!

Thank you for the moments you gave me yesterday evening
Thank you for letting me also be part of your time
Thank you for sharing your space with me
Thank you for making me laugh so hard
Thank you for enjoying the time with me
Thank you for being there when I need it
Thank you for not letting me fall when I wanted it
Thank you for keeping me here

Random thoughts

Well, Thursday morning I had a presentation… 10 min to talk in German, with no stop.
After that, in Mensa, another guy asked me… was not possible for you to present it it English? If you would have talked with the professor? And I replied, without any second thought, “I wanted to challenge myself”… and in the end... this is what life is about… challenges… you decide to take them or not… :)
The presentation was ok... only that the subject had also a lot of names in English and at some point my colleagues were a bit confused … (and I was talking also very fast… German mixed with English). At the end, they congratulated me because I was able to talk so fast in German, and that I don’t have to make any worries about speaking German, although it’s not my mother tongue.
But I’m not satisfied, I could have done things a little bit differently, maybe better.. I don’t know..
And what’s worse, in the end, it wasn’t because of me, but because of the colleague I had to prepare the presentation with… anyway… the moment is gone… :)
After the German class, I was going home… thinking… relaxing… and I receive a message from Maria, “what do you think about a picnic?” ... ok… hmmm
Where, when, who… etc…
In 1 hour, we were already behind the students hostels, on the grass, barbequing… it was so nice… we were 8 or 10 people, just having fun and enjoying the time…
It was very very nice :)
On Friday evening we celebrated Kyle’s birthday… he is living in the same building… (the colored one… the very colored one… :))))… but I didn’t stayed for long time… wasn’t in the mood for parties…
But this week is almost ending… and in the end, it wasn’t so bad… or… if the glass is half empty… for sure it’s also half full… always!
I will try to remember that…