Already 4 weeks:)

When did they pass? I remember how scared and afraid we arrived here.. and now there is not so much difference.. but the things we are scared of changed…
For example, now I’m scared of Saturday.. of what I will feel and do and act … it’s hard.. I wasn’t expecting it… and of course I got surprised… I didn’t realize it’s going to be like this… I don’t know if I would have done the things differently, but yet.. I feel I would have been prepared…

There is a mix of feelings for me now.. because I don’t have any other option.. and I felt at some point that I wanna run back home.. that I’m in a boat, and there is a big, huge, storm… and most probably I’m not going to make it to the end… but someone told me, as long as you are not the one that stops holding with all her strength inside the boat, you will make it:)
And I want to believe this…

It will be a sad week, at least for me… I want to feel the same as last year and 2 years ago, and 10, 15 years ago… but that simply won’t be possible…

Adaptability… a word I think I kind of forgot… maybe this week would be the perfect time to remember…
Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind.. the race is long and in the end is only with yourself… you’re choices are half chances, so are everybody else’s…

I’m trying to get until Saturday as tired as possibly, I’m trying also just physically,and not emotionally, but I kind of start to have the feeling it’s impossible….

Any time you’re tempted to say "Impossible", add an apostrophe and a space, and say, "I’m possible”… (whatever… I’m starting not to believe all the quotes.. that are very nice, and sound very well… but they are damn hard to follow…)
Or.. maybe there is one I will always try to respect… “Never regret anything, just remember that at one point you wanted that thing so much, enough to actually do it”…

Life is like that…unfortunately,


Maybe I just need some extra sleep…